5 Reasons You Should Watch Hemlock Grove!

A Review of Hemlock Grove, Season 1, created by Eli Roth & based on the book by Brian McGreevy

Netflix, 2012

Hemlock GroveNetflix debuted its third original series on Friday: Hemlock Grove, a tale of a small town with big secrets. Now, nearly every news outlet and reviewer has panned Hemlock Grove. However, lest you find yourselves without my opinion on the matter, here it is: I TOTALLY ENJOYED IT!

Hemlock Grove is set in a small Pennsylvania town where girl has just been violently murdered—torn apart by . . . is it an animal? a crazed killer? We don’t know. But, in the crosshairs of the rumor mill surrounding the murder are the newly-arrived Peter and Lynda Rumancek, a Romani mother and son who the suspicious town calls filthy gypsies, and the Godfrey family, most notably to-the-manor-born Roman, who uses his beauty to get what he wants (and, when that doesn’t work, his gaze, which compels obedience), his mother, Olivia, the “most beautiful and hated woman” in Hemlock Grove, and his sister, Shelley, a lurching, seven-foot-tall girl who can’t speak and glows with strong feeling. The first murder, of course, is no isolated incident; they are occurring every full moon, giving rise to rumors that it’s a werewolf committing them—and that Peter is the werewolf.

Is Hemlock Grove the smartest, least misogynist, most disciplined, least derivative, and most sex-positive show that’s ever aired? Em, no. But it has a totally awesome opening credits sequence. And here are five reasons why I think Hemlock Grove is totally worth watching.

1. Genre Feast! If you’ve ever read Crunchings and Munchings or met me (or, really, talked to me for, like, two minutes) then you know I am a fool for genre; especially interesting combinations of genre. Well, Hemlock Grove has . . . all of them, really. Its main genre is a kind of horror-light supernatural mystery. It’s a werewolf story, complete with its own set of werewolf lore, from a Romani perspective, and what is probably my new favorite human-to-wolf transformation method. Hemlock GroveIt’s gross and cool and the effects are done really well. Then, there’s the small-town gothic, one of my favorite genres. Hemlock Grove is a creepy place, complete with secrets, cliques, only one high school (which we all know can tip any show into horror!), and an eerie combination of woodland and broken-down industrial wasteland. In addition, there are definite notes of the fairy tale, the 18th-century novel (hello, Shelley, anyone? p.s., she lives in the attic . . .), and good, old-fashioned camp. There is also a bit of a science fiction twist: Godfrey tower, the town’s only skyscraper, houses secret medical experiments, run by the sociopathic Dr. Pryce (yet another nod to classic horror). This storyline is less developed, presumably to keep our interest for season two . . .

2. Binge! Netflix has gotten a mixed response to their experiment of releasing all the episodes of their original programs at once—folks seemed to love what it did for House of Cards and hate what it did for Hemlock Grove. Well, I say, bless you, Netflix, for finally acting on the behalf of people like me who would rather wait a year to be able to watch a whole season of a show at once, rather than wait around week-to-week and watch one episode at a time. Now, the critiques of this strategy are that without the necessity to compel an audience to come back each week, Hemlock Grove writers and producers were not nearly as disciplined with their cliffhangers and structure as they would otherwise need to be. But I really liked the feeling of chugging through all at once, not just because I am a binger, but because many episodes picked up exactly where the last left off, giving it a novelistic  or filmic feeling. Also, it allowed them to avoid one of my all-time pet peeves of serial tv: when the “previously on” recap totally gives away what’s going to happen in the episode based on what clips from previous episodes they show. WHY, for the love of god, has no one solved this problem, yet, I ask you!? But Hemlock Grove doesn’t need to do this, so I was never taken out of the story. It uses flashbacks where necessary, which aren’t the most graceful thing ever, in terms of filmmaking, but totally serve their purpose. And, at thirteen episodes, it was the perfect length for a weekend binge (#don’tjudgeme).

Hemlock Grove3. Depressed Industrial Town! Hemlock Grove‘s setting is a small town in Pennsylvania that used to be home to a booming steel industry, a downturn in which threw the town into a depression, only saved by Roman’s late father, who turned to the biotech industry, but in the process laid off many people in town. This made the Godfrey family many enemies and resulted in huge, abandoned factories and broken-down machinery for bored teenagers to smoke in, have sex near, and search for bodies in. It also created a stark disparity of wealth between the Godfreys and nearly every other family in town, especially the Rumanceks. Roman wears tailored overcoats, does a lot of drugs, drives a fancy sports car, and has perfectly coiffed hair while Peter is scruffy, with long fingernails, vaguely dirty hair, persistent two-day stubble, and grimy jeans. Class, then, is always subtext in Hemlock Grove, and while the show does a shitty job with gender, it’s more savvy in terms of economy. Plus, abandoned industrial shit is awesome-looking.

4. Wacky Casting! One thing that amused me about Hemlock Grove was the fact that its casting directors clearly didn’t give a good goddamn about realism in terms of casting, so the show is kind of accent soup. But it really worked out well (except for Famke Janssen who plays Olivia Godfrey, doing a British accent like she was barely even trying). Peter, played by Landon Liboirin, is charming and not smarmy and doesn’t overdo things, for the most part. I do not know what is in the water over in Sweden, but Roman is played by Bill Skarsgård, another in the seemingly endless line of extremely beautiful children sired by Stellan Hemlock GroveSkarsgård. Like, seriously, I’m starting to think that every time I clap my hands a Skarsgård cheekbone sharpens. Anyhoo, Roman is totally delightful as the mercurial heir apparent: he’s fucked up for sure, and you can see exactly how he got that way. He also does my favorite thing a character can do, which is that he sometimes makes really terrible decisions and sometimes makes really good ones. Because, you know, that’s what people do. Also delightful is first-timer Nicole Boivin as Shelley, who is expressive when not speaking, but also really touching and funny in her voice-overs as she writes Jane-Austen-inspired emails to her uncle (Dougray Scott!). But the you’re-awesome-why-weren’t-you-in-every-scene award goes to the always-amazing Lili Taylor, who plays Peter’s mother. Ah well; maybe next season.

Hemlock Grove Brian McGreevy5. A Real, Season-Long Plot! Hemlock Grove is based on the novel by Brian McGreevy, who also wrote some of the episodes. As such, the whole season was already plotted out for the creators/writers. This is such a good thing, I think, because with so many elements at play (genres, mystery, murder, relationships), Hemlock Grove is a mixture that could quickly have gotten out of hand and turned crazy. And if there’s one thing I will argue to anyone about the show it’s that it does not go off the rails, plot-wise. There are definitely things that aren’t tied up completely or explained fully—possibly because we’ll get more about them in the next season, if they make one—but for the most part, this is a well-plotted show. It’s not particularly tight, which has been a critique of the show but which I found thoroughly enjoyable: this is a show that sits back and stretches its legs, sure the next thing will happen pretty soon, not a show that chases every speck of dust. It’s not particularly invested in action, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t suspense. There is; it comes from having a mysterious plot instead of trying to building a cliffhanger before every commercial break. So, for me, the fact that the show was confident in where its material was going allowed for it to take the long way, something that gave the show texture and mood, even if it didn’t make every second count. I was never bored and I felt like I got the time to get to know the characters.

So, there you have it: five reasons I really enjoyed Hemlock Grove! There are, of course, negatives as well, and it will likely come as no surprise that they’re nearly all to do with misogyny. The show—and I don’t know if this is the book or creator Eli Roth—just can not stop punishing women for having sexual desire, so that’s a total bummer. There is a plot point (no spoilers) that goes Hemlock Grovetotally unacknowledged, but which makes me feel wretched for still liking Roman. Olivia Godfrey/Famke Janssen is a “strong and beautiful woman,” which apparently now is synonymous with a cold borderline sociopath with incestuous tendencies where her son is concerned. I’m so deathly sick of this character (and Famke Janssen seems to play her in 4/5 of her movies). I haven’t read the novel that Hemlock Grove is based on in order to know how much of that is the show’s interpretation of the character. Either way, I want to go on record as providing future novelists/tv and film creators with the following cheat sheet:

It is possibly for women to be strong without being evil; it is possible for women to be evil without being sociopaths; it is possible for women to be strong and evil in ways that are not fixated on their children!

SO, have you watched Hemlock Grove? What did you think? Are you going to watch it? Why or why not? 

Favorite New Show? White Collar!

5 Reasons Why You Should Be Watching White Collar!

White Collar

by REBECCA, January 21, 2013

For a few years, Netflix has been recommending White Collar to me and for a few years I’ve summarily dismissed the recommendation. My logic: “You know what’s boring? White collar crime.” But, through a series of (frankly uninteresting to anyone but me) circumstances, I found myself deciding I’d give the pilot a whirl, just to prove to Netflix that they were wrong. That, while, sure, I love me some Law and Order SVU and some Bones and some Lie To Me does not mean that I’m a sucker for any procedural show with a unique premise and a set of codependent partners.

Boy howdy, was I wrong. Turns out, I am a sucker for a smart and unique show with codependent partners, which White Collar definitely is. So, to save you from making the same mistake that I did and, thus, depriving yourself of a true joy, I present to you: 5 Reasons Why You Should Be Watching White Collar!

1. Expertise & Monomania! Holy hell, is there anything that delights me more than people who know a shitload of super-specific information about a lot of things and a single-minded drive to pursue those things? No! (Or, at least, nothing that’s any of your business.) So, the premise of White Collar is that Neal Caffrey (played by the delightful Moby Dick final chaseMatt Bomer)—expert art forger, counterfeiter, thief, confidence man, and all around freaking charmer—cuts a deal with the FBI to be released from prison (he’s already escaped once, NBD) as an expert consultant in the white collar department. He’s partnered with agent Peter Burke, who put him in prison in the first place. The point? Neal is an expert in all things associated with forging, art, counterfeiting, breaking in places, stealing things, puzzles, and math. He can forge the Mona Lisa, signatures, and any piece of identification you can imagine.

But, just as interestingly, Neal is an expert at reading people. He is immensely charming and can tell what people want and what their weaknesses are. It doesn’t hurt that he is distractingly handsome and dresses really well. (Seriously, though, he’s the kind of handsome—not so model beautiful that it’s ridiculous and smiley enough to be super engaging—that I can’t imagine having to deal with it on a daily basis. Like, I wonder if Matt Bomer’s boyfriend is ever trying to tell him that, like, he put too much chili powder in the stew and instead finds that he’s just been staring at Matt Bomer’s face, not having noticed that forty-five seconds have gone by?) As the show continues, Neal’s many and varied expertises keep revealing themselves. Seriously, it’s goddamned beautiful to watch (just make sure you’re not feeling like a failure when you start watching).

2. A Married Couple Without Kids! Peter Burke and his wife Elizabeth (Tiffani Thiessen, aka Kelly Kapowski from Saved By the Bell in a charming turn) have been married for ten years and have no kids. Why does that matter? Because it’s one of the few portrayals on tv (at least that I’ve seen) of a couple who have a great relationship where they actually care about the details of each other’s lives as opposed to being bored with each other, cheating on each other, or only caring about their kids’ lives. They’re pretty cute together, and not in a gross, schmoopy way. Elizabeth runs her own party planning business but she’s also super into hearing about FBI stuff; she often gives Peter insights and likes to talk through cases, and she’s smart, so it’s charming. Anyway, I didn’t notice for the whole first season how rare (and refreshing) it is to see a couple that is crazy about each other (and their super cute dog!).


white collar 3. Odd Couple In Love!
Speaking of couples in love, Peter and Neal totally adore each other and the show delights in how much they respect, admire, and infuriate each other. Peter (played by Tim DeKay, who I loved in Carnivàle) was the agent who pursued Neal for years and eventually put him in jail, and it’s clear that he respected the hell out of Neal as a brilliant criminal. When Neal was in prison, he sent Peter birthday cards and other such cheeky things. From the moment they start working together, it’s obvious that Peter is absolutely delighted by Neal, both professionally and kind of like a little brother. Neal clearly feels genuine affection and respect for Peter. Peter admires Neal’s charm, intelligence, and ability to always land on his feel; Neal admires Peter’s honesty, principles, and dependability. They are the perfect odd couple and goddammit it is delightful to watch their relationship develop. This is the definition of a buddy-buddy homosocial partnership (think Supernatural, but without that whole . . . brothers thing).

White Collar Mozzie4. Nerd Power! White Collar is definitely a show that celebrates the nerdy, from science to obscure historical factoids. Sure, many of the nerds in question are overly attractive, but not my favorite nerd. Enter, Mozzie (Willie Garson)! He’s Neal’s oldest friend and is brilliant, well-read, and nerdy! He has a penchant for wine, cravats, hanging out at Neal’s house, and clever turns of phrase. In combination with Neal, he’s devastating in a number of areas. Like, I think between the two of them they could probably topple governments or steal the entire contents of the Louvre.

When I first started watching White Collar, I thought it was a superficially fun show that kept me intrigued because of all the above. However, after a few episodes, I started thinking that it was a really smart show, in terms of writing. In each episode, there is a crime/scheme that Neal and Peter need to solve (that’s the procedural part). As such, each one is a little mini-mystery, like most procedurals, but unlike many shows of the whodunnit variety, White Collar‘s crimes are often much more complicated and smarter. These are elaborate schemes by criminals of Neal’s ilk, so it’s often as delightful to see the criminals’ intelligence as it is Neal’s. But it isn’t just the plots that are smart, it’s also the writing. One of my pet peeves in television writing is when characters don’t have properly differentiated voices (vocabularies, knowledge sets, syntaxes), but White Collar definitely delivers. Mozzie, in particular, has an awesome voice and backstory. You know a show’s writing is good when you don’t even notice it for a few episodes.

5. A Conflict Of Interests! One surefire way to create persistent and natural dramatic tension is to have characters who share one goal or interest, but have essentially conflicting interests in another area. The reason Neal wanted to be let out of prison (and treasureescaped in the first place, as we learn in the first five minutes of the pilot, so I’m not spoiling anything) is because his ex-girlfriend left town and he wants to find her. So, alongside the cases that he works with Peter, Neal is also trying to solve the mystery of where she went. Then, in later seasons, he has even bigger personal . . . pursuits. This makes for a really awesome dynamic: Peter trusts Neal intrinsically as it concerns his expertise, and adores him as a person, but knows that very expertise could allow Neal to try and escape or perpetrate schemes under his nose. Neal, on the other hand, has obligations and desires that force him, again and again, to choose between them and his loyalty to Peter. It’s all very dramatic!

White Collar seasons 1-3 are available on Netflix now.

5 Reasons You Should Be Watching Beauty and the Beast!

by REBECCA, December 3, 2012

Beauty and the Beast CW

In August, I included the CW’s Beauty and the Beast in a list of new YA(ish) shows that I was excited about:

Beauty and the Beast meets crime procedural (maybe?). Homicide detective, Cat, meets the mysterious man—or beast—who once saved her life. He has been hiding out for ten years, protecting his secret: that when angry he totally Hulks out into a beast. Cat agrees to keep his true identity a secret, and he begins to help her solve cases. And, of course, they become drawn together in ways that I’m sure are mutually delightful and destructive. I know, I know: this show will probably be terrible, but I can’t help but hope that maybe it’ll be kind of like Angel meets The Vampire Diaries meets Jean Cocteau . . . no?

Well, guess what: I WAS WRONG! IT IS NOT TERRIBLE AT ALL!

We’re about mid-way through the first season, but I feel pretty dang confident going ahead and declaring Beauty and the Beast a success. Here are my top five reasons why you should be watching.

Beauty and the Beast1. Kristin Kreuk/Cat! I can’t lie: I love me some CW, but they do tend toward female characters that I don’t like. As a result, I wasn’t really expecting much from Cat. But she’s great. She has awesome qualities that I almost never see in TV aimed at younger audiences: she’s a sensible, sincere, matter-of-fact human being. Yay! She’s not boring at all, but there’s nothing super special about her (except that she’s gorgeous, but this is TV), which is so refreshing. I never watched Smallville, so I had never seen Kristin Kreuk in anything before this, but she’s great. She’s vulnerable and sympathetic, but she’s subtle, thank god, and a totally good actor. Kristin Kreuk, I salute you for managing to be the beautiful romantic lead in a CW show while being neither a bitch nor a dishrag!

2. Government-Engineered Beastliness! The premise of Vincent’s beastliness (and we learn this in episode 1, so I’m not really giving anything away here) is that he was the subject of drug-testing when in the military, in an attempt to engineer the perfect fighting machine. As we know, this NEVER works out. So, Vincent drops off the grid and, occasionally, saves people’s lives—Cat’s, for instance. This is great because it opens up the plot for future seasons. In this season (so far), mostly Vincent manages to stay off the government’s radar, but I imagine that in future seasons Vincent and Cat may end up taking on/running from a major government conspiracy. In his real life, though, Vincent was a doctor, so he is a great combination of nurturing/aggressive, healer/harmer, etc.

Beauty and the BeastJay Ryan, who plays Vincent, is pretty great, too. For one thing, he’s handsome in a very non-obnoxious way (avec wicked scar!). He has this super-gravelly voice that sounds exactly like the voice someone would have if they were experimented on by the government and had to live in a warehouse and barely talk to anyone. Also, congratulations, Jay Ryan, for your excellent American accent. I am driven to the brink of insanity when movies/shows do a bad job with accents (that’s why there are dialect and accent coaches, people!) and Jay Ryan’s is spot on. Also, I love how his best friend/housemate is a total dweeb, but he is treated like an equal, not like he’s lucky to be friends with handsome doctor man. Because Vincent isn’t handsome doctor man anymore, and he totally knows it. I mean, he’s still handsome. And I guess he’s still a doctor. Wait, he’s still a man . . . I, uh, anyway, you know what I mean.

passive-aggressive3. No Passive-Aggressive Behavior! If there is one thing that I hate about people (and believe me, there are many) it’s when they are passive-aggressive. This goes double for TV and movies, because in addition to it annoying me personally, I also think about all the impressionable young flowers out there who will watch it and then potentially act passive-aggressive in the world. But here, in the world of Beauty and the Beast, that doesn’t happen. Are you reading this, Hollywood?! It is totally possible to make a great movie/show where people are able to actually express their needs and opinions without devolving into a puddle of passive-aggression. Take note! It’s a brave new world out there.

Make It Or Break It Kelly Parker4. Ensemble! I love a show with a good ensemble. Although Cat and Vincent are the main game in town, Cat’s partner, Tess, is a badass, sassy player, and her coworker Evan is charming. On Vincent’s team is only his bestie J.T., who is also great—he’s a sweet science professor who totally cares about Vincent enough to shack up with him and keep his secret, even when it’s tricky. I love that J.T. tries to protect Vincent by telling him not to see Cat, and that instead of being jealous or anything, he gets all pissed at Cat for putting their secret in danger. And, the crowning jewel . . . Cat’s sister is played by Nicole Gale Anderson, who played Kelly Parker on my favorite show, Make It Or Break It! (Check out why you should absolutely watch Make It Or Break It HERE.)

Beauty and the Beast5. A Remake That Actually Benefits From Being Remade! What I didn’t realize when I first started watching Beauty and the Beast was that it is a remake of the 1980s Beauty and the Beast, starring Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman, in which she plays a district attorney and he plays “a sensitive and cultured lion-man” (thus spake imdb). I have never watched this show, but now I totally will because (yay, Ron Perlman!) Vincent is part of “a secret Utopian society of outcasts living in an underground sanctuary where Vincent is protected and loved.” What with the rash of Hollywood remakes that do not benefit from being recontextualized, this is a remake that totally makes sense. Shifting the story to have a component of the military-pharmacology complex is a great update.

So, are you watching Beauty and the Beast? What do you think? Tell me in the comments!

10 Reasons Why You Should Be Watching Suburgatory

by Tessa

I’d finished Breaking Bad. The new New Girl was under Hulu embargo. I watched all of Don’ Trust the B*tch in Apt. 23 when I visited Rebecca (it counts as bonding, ok?). Make it Or Break It was sadly cut short in its prime. I still am resisting Gossip Girl for some reason. What was I to do with my “turn off the brain” time?

Then I read an article about Suburgatory. Which I can’t find right now. But it does exist, because it’s too boring of a reason to make up. I felt compelled to watch it, because A. the girl’s name is Tessa, and I have to scrutinize all bearers of my name who appear in popular media B. the article compared it to the WB’s Popular, which I remember liking and should watch again and C. it’s on ABC which is apparently home to all shows that I will become addicted to.  But what, you may ask, is the particular appeal of this show?

1. A Gilmore Girls-style family pairing

In no way are Tessa and George fast-talking homebody small-town bffs like Rory and Lorelai, but they are a father and daughter who have grown up with only each other, have their own inside jokes, and, because George has moved Tessa out to the richie-rich suburbs of Chatswin, NY, they have a us-against-the-world vibe going on. It’s touching to see and a little different than some of the nuclear family stuff or blended family stuff you see on sitcoms.

2. Suburb satire

The cafeteria offerings.

Everyone in Chatswin is obliviously ridiculous and the set designers and writers aren’t afraid to go over the top, while keeping everyone human.  After all, we’re supposed to see why Tessa feels like she’s an alien but also see how she can get used to the Chatswin bubble. So the water fountain in the school has fresh lemons and limes in its holding tank, and prime rib and sushi for lunch. There ends up being a pet kangaroo for one of the characters. Dallas, the lonely wife who commissions a skylight from George only to become his first new Chatswin friend and a strange kind of mother figure for Tessa, opens up a store that sells only crystal, as in blocks of crystal etched with portraits of loved ones, crystal chef hats, and crushed crystal called “Tears from Heaven.” The Halloween episode this season is about “The Witch of Chatswin” who ends up just being… a feminist.  And the bumbling, self-absorbed, but genuinely enthusiastic guidance counselor, Mr. Wolfe, comes out to the student body by saying something like “I’m gay, which means I will now be driving a Mazda Miata.” I think the best part about the absurdity of Chatswin is that it’s not all in your face suburb satire all the time. It comes out in one-off jokes and sub-main plotlines, and no one reacts to it except for Tessa and George, which heightens the feeling that this is real life for these people.  It doesn’t stop to explain itself and that’s funny.

3. A great cast

Although I think Jane Levy is cute as a button, droll, and good at stomping around like a real teenager, she still seems a little too old to be believable. Luckily, the good attributes outweigh the weirdness, Jeremy Sisto and the other main cast members are great (more on that later), and George and Tessa’s next door neighbors played by are Ana Gasteyer and Chris Parnell. Jay Mohr plays Dallas’ oft-travelling husband who is mainly worried about shoes being worn in the house while he’s gone. Mr. Wolfe is played by Rex Lee from Entourage; I don’t know if that means anything to anyone but he’s really funny on this show. Tessa’s next door neighbor and best friend comes to us from Weeds, and even though I’m sad to see that she lost her normal body to become thinner and blonder as the seasons progress, she’s still hilarious and a treat every time she’s on screen, so it hasn’t affected her character. And she did just graduate high school (omg) so I shouldn’t judge at all because bodies are still settling into themselves and forget I said anything.

4. Jeremy Sisto acting funny.

Sisto has played so many douchey characters that it’s surprising to see him play a dad. A normal, slightly neurotic single dad who attempts to make his daughter break a date by planning a surprise board game night with her friends.

And it works! Except when he tries to date Alicia Silverstone. I didn’t buy that at all.

5. The Mean Girls aren’t really mean.

Dalia, the daughter of Dallas and what passes for Tessa’s nemesis, is clearly modeled on Paris Hilton, with her blonde hair, eyes ringed with smudgy black eyeshadow, and deadpan delivery of all her lines, often ending with a crisp “bitch.”  Her minions are, as so often is the trope, foolish followers. No one, though, is really following them, and no one is really their target. (Except for one instance in the pilot episode, and I think the writers realized their misstep after that).

Most people at Chatswin High have their own money and social status, which makes for an almost neutral playing field.  We catch glimpses of nerdy characters, but they are clearly preoccupied with their AP classes, and Tessa, who often interacts with and is therefore insulted by Dalia, has too much self-esteem to let it effect her. Dalia’s insults are more because she has no etiquette or filter between her brain and her mouth, rather than a desire to hurt anyone. If anything, she just wants people to go away because she’s so solipsistic, not have a crowd of worshipers following her. It’s kind of refreshing.

6. Awkward neighbor is not really awkward

Lisa might be my favorite character on Suburgatory. She starts out being a flustered girl who wears a cream-color based palate, accented with tiny flowers, bullied by her controlling mother. Early in the first season we have this exchange at the end of a forced neighborly dinner between the Shays and the Altmans:

Lisa: May I be excused? I’m having a terrible time.

George: What about dessert?

Sheila: Lisa can’t have dessert.

George: Whu-uh, Why not, the sugar?

Sheila: No.

But she slowly takes a page from her own mother’s book and uses it to rebel against her tyrannical reign. And I don’t think it’s all due to Tessa’s Manhattan influence. You can just tell that that spark was living inside of Lisa, waiting to start burning. Everything she says has this undercurrent of plotted derangement, and there’s no episode about how she’s afraid to get a boyfriend. She just gets one, no angst, and proceeds to gross Tessa out with her PDAs.  (And her boyfriend, Malik, is also a funny character. He’s mostly a well-rounded dude who is very into the school paper, but is also part of a Medium fan club and will very occasionally be seen to dress like Patricia Arquette.)

Lisa is disgusted by high fives.

7. Cheryl Hines rocks her character, and has the best accent.

Cheryl Hines plays Dallas, and she imbues the stereotype of a bored trophy wife with real charm.  Then she subverts the stereotype by being a happy-go-lucky loon, not at all weighed down by the grim business of beauty. And she has the weirdest accent that is not southern, but sort of is. If a voice could be “tangy” that would be Dallas’s voice. Here’s the first time we get to hear it:

8. Alan Tudyk’s crazy smile.

9. Jane Levy plays a kind of reverse teenage Carrie Bradshaw/Daria/Cady from Mean Girls hybrid and it somehow works.

Ostensibly Jane Levy’s Tessa is the crux of Suburgatory. It’s her life that is being upended and her voiceover that delivers the Carrie Bradshaw-like homilies at the end of the episode. As you can tell, though, the show is about much more than Tessa.  Instead of a woman embracing the big city and writing about it, Tessa is forced to embrace the suburbs and live… about… it. And instead of being fashion obsessed and finding herself she’s obsessed with being true to herself and not caring about fashion (her outfits are still cute).  She wears motorcycle boots and skirts and plays the outsider/observer, but she’s also not so invested in that role that she won’t become involved in the world of Chatswin. And she’s not too cool — in fact, when she goes out of her way to define her coolness it ends up making her look dorky, and that’s very endearing.  For instance, her favorite band plays at her 16th birthday party and for the first song it’s just her rocking out on the dance floor, with that face that means that you’re REALLY FEELING THIS SONG more than ANYONE ELSE, and when a poetry class is being taught by a tattooed teacher, Tessa trips all over herself to try to be the star pupil, creating a monster of a mother poem in the process.

the I’m Feelin’ It face

Which leads me to my last reason–

10. Because if there’s going to be a character named Tessa on American TV, I’m cool with this one.

Fall’s Young Adult (ish) TV Lineup

A List of Exciting YA(ish) Shows Premiering Fall, 2012 & Some to Catch Up On Before They Return

By REBECCA, August 13, 2012

Well, folks, it’s that time of the year again. The time when, were I still a student, I’d be getting jazzed about buying shiny new pencils and woodsy-smelling notebooks. Instead, now that I’m an adult (cue laugh track), I can put aside childish things and—you know—decide which characters I want enter into borderline unhealthy but oh-so-enjoyable emotional relationships with. Yes, it’s time for a roundup of the YA(ish) tv shows I’m excited about for the fall!

Now, I don’t have cable tv, so my relationship with shows has long been a model of binging once things are out on dvd or on Netflix. This has always worked out fairly well for me because I am inherently a glutton with no self-control or patience whatsoever, so I don’t like to have to wait and watch shows one episode a week. However, lately I’ve felt like tv is getting too good to have to wait months or years to try a new show. And, let’s face it, Netflix is deteriorating into total crap with the advent of other avenues of streaming video. So . . . just this week I decided that, goshdarnit, there is NO REASON why I should deny myself the joys of watching shows in (quasi-)real time any longer! So, I’m going to try out Hulu Plus for the Fall premieres and see how I like it.

(Also: I shall attempt to live in a world where shows only come on once a week, thus hopefully breaking the breakout cycle of glutting myself on a show, feeling bereft when it’s over, and then immediately needing to fill the void with a new show, no matter how awful—yes, Dawson’s Creek, I’m looking at you! Extrapolate from this statement any hypotheses about my personal life that you will.)

YA(ish) Show Premieres I’m Excited For This Fall (by premiere date)

Nashville, ABC

Series Premiere: Wednesday, October 10th

Nashville Connie Britton Hayden Panettiere ABCHoly rusted pickup, Batman, am I psyched about Nashville! It stars my beloved Tami Taylor Connie Britten as the queen of country music whose label thinks that she could use a hot young thing (Hayden Pannettiere) opening for her on tour to spice up her image. Naturally, this turns into a mega diva-off, when it becomes clear that the newcomer is trying to steal her spotlight. So, basically, it seems like it’ll be Country Strong meets All About Eve—or at least that’s what I’m hoping for. I really cannot stress how much I love musicals or how strongly I feel that there should be more of them.

Arrow, the CW

Series Premiere: Wednesday, October 10th

Green Arrow CWThe CW’s take on DC Comics’ character Green Arrow. Dudes, I’m a sucker for anything superhero related, so I’m open-minded about this show, even though I can’t quite imagine what a superhero show on the CW would look like. There have, of course, been many a comic-based movie franchise lately, but I’m jazzed to see the kind of comic-like scope that serial tv can bring to the Green Arrow world.

The New Normal, NBC

Series Premiere: Thursday, October 11th

The New Normal Ryan Murphy NBCThe new show by Glee creator Ryan Murphy tells the story of a single mom who is looking to escape her small town (and bigoted grandmother) allows her young daughter to convince her to move to L.A., where she gets the money to follow her dream of going to law school by becoming a surrogate for a gay couple. I’m kind of scared that this show is going to be a horrible tale of metro-homonormative assimilation, but I’m totally going to give it a chance because a.) Ryan Murphy and b.) the preview looks mildly hilarious due mainly to the antics of an extremely racist and homophobic Ellen Barkin.

Beauty and the Beast, the CW

Series Premiere: Thursday, October 11th

Beauty and the Beast the CWBeauty and the Beast meets crime procedural (maybe?). Homicide detective, Cat, meets the mysterious man—or beast—who once saved her life. He has been hiding out for ten years, protecting his secret: that when angry he totally Hulks out into a beast. Cat agrees to keep his true identity a secret, and he begins to help her solve cases. And, of course, they become drawn together in ways that I’m sure are mutually delightful and destructive. I know, I know: this show will probably be terrible, but I can’t help but hope that maybe it’ll be kind of like Angel meets The Vampire Diaries meets Jean Cocteau . . . no?

YA(ish) Shows I’m Most Excited Are Returning in the Fall

Once Upon A Time, ABC

Season 2 Premiere: Sunday, September 30th

Once Upon A Time ABCI really enjoyed the first season of this show by the producers of Lost. All the fairytale characters we have read about in books have been cursed by the evil queen to forget who they really are, and are trapped in the small town of Storybrooke, Maine. Throughout the season, the lines between their Storybrooke lives and their fairytale lives become dangerously blurred (and shit gets dark near the end!). Sure, Once Upon A Time has silly moments, but I was always intrigued by its machinations and slow unfolding of the relationships between characters in both worlds.

Supernatural, the CW

Season 8 Premiere: Wednesday, October 3rd

Supernatural Sam and Dean WinchesterOh, Supernatural, how do I love thee? Lots and lots. I know: it’s in its eighth season, so if you haven’t been watching, there is a lot to catch up on . . . so you better start now! Sam and Dean Winchester are brothers who fight evil. Done. This delightful gem of a genre show began with humble one-off mysteries and slowly built to a totally epic scale. Ok, so the last season wasn’t the strongest season of television ever written, but I am choosing to have faith that the brothers Winchester can keep it worth my while.

Gossip Girl, the CW

Season 6 Premiere: Monday, October 8th

Gossip GirlThis is the final season of Gossip Girl, friends, and I’m expecting it to be epic. Not so much because the last season was so good, but because I imagine all the writers and costume designers and directors being, like, “hey, it’s the final season of a totally over-the-top show; of course I must make everything outrageously showy and dramatic!” For those of you who haven’t watched the double G, you should check out my list of 10 Reasons Why You Should Watch Gossip Girl here and GET ON IT.

Smash, NBC

Season 2 Premiere: Midseason

Smash NBCSo, you know what I said above about loving musicals? Y’all, I loved the first season of this show! It chronicles the journey of writing, casting, and premiering a musical about the life of Marilyn Monroe. There a lots of fun characters and we get great character development, but it’s still a fast-paced show, and for the love of god it’s a freaking musical. The songs are catchy; the lyrics are charming; the singing is awesome; the dancing is fun; and there are people pretending to be Marilyn Monroe—what more do you want? Me? Nothing. I know the title of this section says that these are shows premiering in the Fall, but this one is too good not to include, and also I simply can’t believe it got bumped to midseason in the first place.

So, that’s just a brief preview of the Fall shows I’m jazzed about. What did I miss? What would you recommend?

10 Reasons Why Switched At Birth Is Totally Worth Watching

ABC Family’s Switched at Birth Exceeds My (Meager) Expectations

By REBECCA, July 9, 2012

Switched At Birth ABC Family

Again and again the Netflix robots would suggest that I watch an ABC Family show called Switched at Birth; again and again I would ignore them. I mean, sure I totally gave five stars to Make It Or Break It (and wrote a glowing review of it here) but that didn’t mean I wanted to watch some schlocky soap opera knockoff! Right?

Well, actually, it kind of did mean that.

The premise is this: Bay Kennish has grown up in a wealthy and privileged white family with an older brother and a private school education. Daphne Vasquez has grown up with her Latina mother and grandmother in a working class neighborhood; she went deaf at a young age and attends a deaf school. The two families discover that Bay and Daphne were (everybody!) switched at birth, and thus begins the difficult negotiations of everyone involved.

I began Switched at Birth with the lowest of expectations—it was a total I’ll-watch-20-minutes-of-this-while-I-eat-breakfast endeavor. But . . . um . . . I was a little bit hooked. I mean, obviously, it’s no Make It Or Break It or Pretty Little Liars, but, well, ABC Family is rocking my world these days, folks. So, here you go. Here are 10 reasons why Switched at Birth might well prove worth your while. (Switched at Birth is available on Netflix and Hulu now.)

Downton Abbey1. Worlds Collide! I am a big fan of the worlds collide phenomenon. This can take many forms but nearly always produces delightful drama. You’ve got your called-upon-to-do-something variety, like in Downton Abbey or The Princess Diaries, when someone is put in the position of being obliged to something they never expected. You’ve got your random-people-trapped-together variety, like in The Breakfast Club, 12 Angry Men, or The Parent Trap! Switched at Birth is of the meet-the-parents variety, like Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, The Family Stone, or Father of the Bride. Obviously many of the following categories fall under this one, but let’s just say that an ex-pro baseballer and an ex-alcoholic hairdresser don’t actually have much that they agree on.

2. Deaf Cultures. As you might imagine, there are things that are wrong with the show’s portrayals of deaf communities and some of the actors’ sign language (or so I’ve read), etc. Still, it is one of the only tv shows in history to ever feature not just a deaf character but multiple deaf actors (and this is what finally convinced me to start watching it). Daphne’s character (played by Katie Leclerc, who is hard of hearing and has Ménière’s disease) both signs and speaks, and her best friend Emmett and his mother, Melody, who are deaf and only sign, are played by Sean Berdy and Marlee Matlin, both of whom are deaf. For me, the spectrum of experiences that these characters can portray was the most interesting part of the show. There is plenty to say about this—check out Jace Lacob’s article about deafness on the show here.

3. Class. The Kennishes are rich (dad was a pro baseball player and now owns a chain of carwashes—living the dream, yo) and the Vasquezes struggle to get by. So, class is a constant issue for Switched at Birth, whether it’s giving a gift or talking about college. Bay and her brother are privileged in every way and it’s really nice to see a show that points up the kind of assumptions that come with such an upbringing and the way they’re challenged when Bay is suddenly around people who did not grow up wealthy. For example, Bay can’t understand why a guy she starts dating wouldn’t want her to give him a wad of cash to fix his truck, and the Kennish parents seriously stick their feet in their mouths talking to Regina (Daphne’s mom) about why she “chooses” to do things certain ways. The most dramatic expression of this occurs when the Kennishes wonder whether it might have been Regina’s negligence (she used to be an alcoholic) and/or her economic situation that caused Daphne’s childhood meningitis to render her deaf. A very satisfying representation of what might actually happen if you had two families from very different class contexts trying to raise their kids.

Bay Kennish Switched at Birth4. Bay! Bay Kennish is played by Vanessa Marano—you may know her as Luke’s surprise daughter on Gilmore Girls. She has both moments of extreme spoilt obnoxiousness and delightful sensitivity and I like me a well-rounded character. She’s always felt like the odd one out in her family—she’s an artsy brunette in a sea full of blondes who wouldn’t know a Redon from a Rodin from a writing desk. She does Banksy-esque graffiti around town and dresses really cute and has luxurious hair and a vulnerable-seeming lisp and she learns sign language and I just like her even though she’s a drama queen.

5. Daphne! It’s rare when a show has two main characters that are (sometimes) in opposite camps and I like them both. Daphne is super sweet and cheery, but she’s also very no-nonsense and honest. If Bay is a drama queen, Daphne’s a stage manager: she tries to understand everyone’s point of view and be respectful of them, but in the end she’s gonna do what she’s gonna do. What I like most about Daphne’s story arc I won’t tell you because I don’t want to spoil anything. Let me just say that sometimes even sweethearts get pushed too far, mkay? Also, for like 85% of the time she’s onscreen I was looking at Katie Leclerc and thinking, “how is it that you are not related to Evangeline Lily?” Right?!

Emmett Sean Berdy Switched at Birth6. Emmett! Emmett is described on the show as a “deaf James Dean”—he rides a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket, but he’s been besties with Daphne since they were little kids. He is a sweet guy, but he doesn’t suffer fools gladly and when hearing people act like idiots about his deafness he totally messes with them. He plays the drums and becomes (kind of) friends with Bay’s brother when they drag him in to sub for their drummer at the last minute. Badass. Major drama between Emmett and his mom (Marlee Matlin), Emmett and Daphne, and Emmett and Bay. He’s definitely one of my favorites.

7. Ethnicity. When Bay finds out that she’s not white but Latina, she becomes fascinated by trying to figure out what that means for her and her art. She is also troubled by what she suddenly realizes are some very real prejudices that she hears her parents and grandmother voice. Having never thought much about race or ethnicity (she attends private school where class completely eclipses either), Bay is finally in a position to think about how they affect her personally. Since Bay is an artist, she also looks to long-time idol Frida Kahlo for some guidance. For Daphne, her ethnicity has always been deeply connected with where she grew up. When she moves out of her old neighborhood and some of her old friends learn about the switch, they think she’s not the same person anymore.

8. Identity. The question “what if” hangs heavy over Switched at Birth, and is asked in many contexts. Daphne wonders if perhaps she would never have been deaf if she’d been raised by the Kennishes; Bay wonders what her art would have been like if she’d had a different life, etc. At times these musings are a bit trite, but the moments where the question isn’t spoken but rather stumbled upon are the strongest. Especially between Bay and Daphne there are some great moments that involve guilt, jealousy, desire, curiosity. Basically, this show takes the classic teenage search for identity and turns the volume up on it.

Blue Crush Kate Bosworth Michelle Rodriguez9. Creator Lizzy Weiss. I should have known that Switched at Birth would be kind of good the second I IMDBed it and saw that creator, writer, and producer Lizzy Weiss is the genius behind the screenplay/story of Blue Crush, one of my fave oceanic movies of all time. Kate Bosworth is so badass in that movie! Oooh, ooh, omigosh, not to mention that Michelle Rodriguez is in Blue Crush (before she got her adorable teeth fixed)—Michelle Rodriguez who was later on Lost with Evangeline Lilly. Coincidence? Who knows; I don’t think the creators of Lost quite figured that detail out.  Also, Lizzy Weiss wrote an episode of that MTV show Undressed—remember? The one where that dude couldn’t have sex with his girlfriends without his sock puppet talking about it? Yeah.

Blue Crush

10. ABC Family-ness. This is, above all, a really easy, visually-appealing, highly-consumable show of the variety in which ABC Family specializes. I don’t know how exactly the network went from being an arm of the evil Pat Robertson empire and then a wimpy Disney mouthpiece to having awesome original programming like Pretty Little Liars, Make It Or Break It, Kyle XY, Bunheads, and Switched at Birth, but all I can say is: this one-time hater is a total convert. Indeed, I will go so far as to say that maybe if ABC Family had answered my prayers to make L.J. Smith’s The Secret Circle series into a tv show then it wouldn’t have totally sucked and broken my heart.

So, what do you say? For those of you who’ve seen Switched at Birth, have I just publicly humiliated myself? For those who haven’t, are you intrigued? I can take it!

Spotted: 10 Reasons You Should Watch Gossip Girl

By REBECCA, April 27, 2012

Gossip Girl

Okay, so I came super late to Gossip Girl. Yeah, I had a friend or two who watched it. And I knew what it was, sure: a superficial show about a bunch of privileged kids with nothing better to do than talk about each other and swap lip gloss colors. Right? Right! And yet, so very, very WRONG! I stand before you humbled by the power. The power of Gossip Girl.

So, I have compiled the following list of reasons you should watch Gossip Girl if, like me, you have either a.) operated under the assumption that it wasn’t worth your time, or b.) have had it on your list and just needed a little shove into the upper East Side.

Or, for those of you who were on it from go, maybe this list will remind you that, oh, look, global climate change likely has us in for a hellish summer—what better way to spend it than inside with air conditioning, a frozen cocktail, and Gossip Girl?

Without further ado, here are 10 Reasons You Should Watch Gossip Girl!

Veronica Mars Kristen Bell1. Kristen Bell. I wouldn’t necessarily say that everything is better with Kristen Bell’s presence. Nope, I just double-checked on IMDb and I can confirm: Everything Is Better With the Presence of Kristen Bell. It’s like, actually, all the times when I thought to myself, “self, this show Gossip Girl is probably crap,” myself should have said, “shutup, RP-G—it has Kristen Bell in it.” Even though she’s only voice-over, she manages to seem like she knows everything and yet could be anyone. That, my friends, is talent.

[Sidebar: once, my friend A— tricked me into seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall (ok, she didn't trick me; I was writing my dissertation and she basically had me at "want to go to the mov—"). When we got there and I realized that it was a romantic comedy in which I was going to have to watch people be laughed at for humiliating themselves I was un-pleased. However! Within like 14 seconds of Kristen Bell coming on camera, I was laughing. (Well, and then there was that thing with the puppet musical of Dracula that just slayed me.)]

Sugar Cookies xoxo

Image: Whipped Bake Shop, Philadelphia

2. Relatedly, the signoff “xoxo, Gossip Girl.” This is one of the most addictive and delightful inventions of the information age. The “xoxo, —” provides an email salutation that is simultaneously warm and suggests a shared cultural milieu,  but isn’t overly intimate and can always be explained away as a GG citation were the recipient to feel it intrusively intimate. Besides, Kristen Bell’s snarkly little “you know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl” is about the best ending to a tv episode ever. It works no matter what the state of the cliffhanger. Because we do love her!

3. Incestuousness. Among the core cast, that is. I love when even the cast photos make it clear that a show is going to have all the cast members sleep together.

Gossip Girl Queer as Folk The L Word 90210

America's Next Top Model

Hmm.

Seriously, though, sometimes it’s infuriating to see a show where the couple combos just keep flip-flopping: it’s like, what, show, do you not have the budget for a new character—go to a coffee shop and meet someone. But in Gossip Girl, with the familial expectations of marriage, the incredible elitism, and the suspicion of people being after them for their money, the inter-relating actually makes sense. And it’s kind of cool to see a model of how a small group of people can be friendly after dating, rather than the character having to leave the show.

Blair Waldorf

Image credit: Colormecourtney.com

4. Fashion, of course. Unlike many teen shows where fashion isn’t mentioned and the designer clothes, coiffed hair, and high heels are supposed to just be naturally occurring, in Gossip Girl fashion is talked about, aspired to, and expected. This is so much more realistic (narratively), and it actually acknowledges the time, money, and effort that it takes to look put together, much less stylish. My particular favorites in the fashion department are Blair and her school cronies. Blair’s gowns are stunning, and her school clothes (dictatorially echoed on her ladies in waiting) are like British school boy uniform + Godard waif + Marie Antoinette + money.

Gossip Girl Blair Waldorf Gossip Girl Serena Van der Woodsen Blair Waldorf

5. Champagne. It’s as effervescent as the nightlife and as fizzy as the fashion. The folks of Gossip Girl remind us that it doesn’t have to be New Year’s Eve or a wedding to pop the cork on some bubbly. And, especially with summer coming, Gossip Girl has inspired me to pair my YA with a bit of the Brut, thank you very much. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go get a bellini.

6. What I called the Random Appeal Factor in my list of 10 Reasons You Should Be Watching Make It Or Break It.  I’ll just be honest. I’m really not the intended audience of Gossip Girl. I mean, I’m like the anti-Gossip Girl. But I LOVE it. And then one night my sister was hanging out, and we were all, what should we watch while sipping whiskey, petting the cat, and brainstorming how to topple capitalism? Well, Gossip Girl, obviously. I was in the middle of season 2, and I just popped it on, telling my sister we’d change it if she didn’t like it. By three minutes in, she was like, “wait, pause it and tell me EVERYTHING about EVERYONE.” And I did. And then she kept calling me after work and after hanging out with her friends, all, “oh, yeah, hey, um, I’ve got like 48 minutes before my next thing—you wanna watch an episode of Gossip Girl?” Yes. Yes, I do.

7. Blair. Sure, it’s “Serena” that gets whispered in the opening credits; sure, it’s Serena’s return that whips the upper East Side into a tizzy in the first episode; sure, dudes seem to find her irresistible. But who cares about Serena when the HILARIOUS Blair Waldorf is in a scene? Oh, Blair, you are so crazy. You’re insecure, entitled, uncompromising, spiteful, vindictive, petty, and dictatorial. And HILARIOUS.

I have discussed my love for monomaniacal characters here and here, and Blair definitely makes the list. And that’s why I actually love her; because despite her many, many horrible qualities, she is a hella hard worker who goes after what she wants and is willing to appear ridiculous to get it. And, as Chuck remarks to Blair, “you don’t get nearly enough credit for your wit.”

8. Chuck. Chuck Bass. Chuck Basstard. Mother Chucker. Speaking of monomaniacs with extremely questionable ethics! Ok, Chuck, I hated you in the beginning of the show because I have a soul and you treat women like disposable party favors. And yet, despite finding every element of your politics despicable, with each passing 42 minutes I found myself more and more delighted by you. Dude, you are fucked up. And hilarious, ambitious, smart, and resourceful. Plus, you can say things that would sound ridiculous coming from any other character/actor. (In response to why he should be chosen for a position: “Because I’m Chuck Bass.”) Chuck Bass, you diabolical, screwed-up fiend.

Chuck Bass Evil Genius

9. Chuck and Blair! If you look up “synergy” in the dictionary, you will find the equation “Chuck+Blair.” Okay, you won’t; you will find something like “the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements” (dictionary.com). Or, as George Orwell would put it, 2+2=5. These two superpowers are each formidable on their own. But whenever they join forces, it’s seismic. Their scenes are far and away the best written scenes on the show, and it’s worth the price of admission just to see them glower at each other, admire their own and each other’s craftiness, and dress impeccably.

[slight spoiler for Season 1:]

“Blair: Do you . . . ‘like’ me?
Chuck: Define like.
Blair: You have got to be kidding me.
Chuck: How do you think I feel? I can’t sleep! I feel sick, like there’s something in my stomach . . . fluttering.
[disgusted]
Blair: Butterflies? Oh no, no, no, no no.
[horrified]
This is not happening!
Chuck Bass: Believe me no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.
Blair Waldorf: Chuck, you know that I adore all of God’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered”

Image: January Jones Prints on etsy

10. Scheming, Plotting, and General Mischief Making via Gossip Girl. Okay, so ordinarily, I’m not a fan of lying and scheming on shows—it so often feels like the writers couldn’t create drama without a convenient “misunderstanding” that leads to plotting, etc. But, in Gossip Girl, the scheming seems so much a part of the characters and the world they’ve been raised in that it all makes sense (we even see how Upper-East-Side-itis can be contagious . . .). Despite all their money and connections, there is so little that these teenagers have control over in their worlds that they seem to crave the tiny pops of control that they get when they reveal something via Gossip Girl or use it to punish someone else, even if they know they’re inviting retribution.

Image: Blue Ribbon General Store

These people use Gossip Girl to measure their social cachet, perpetrate retribution on one another via truth and lies alike, and air confessions and grievances. And they variously describe Gossip Girl as ally and threat. As Gossip Girl points out at one point, though, it is only through the very active participation of each person who sends tips to Gossip Girl or acts in accordance with her tips that she has any power to destroy their lives or tell their secrets. As my sister astutely pointed out: even though they would be better off if they simply didn’t play the game, it’s like a very well-orchestrated self-destruction that they all participate in because they believe momentary notoriety and the upper-hand are the only forms of capital they have.

And so, the scheming, lying, vicious truth-telling, innocent acts caught on camera from the wrong angle, incidents of omission, and flat out manipulation creates drama, yes, but it’s a dynamic and dangerous drama, even when it’s based on lies and misunderstandings.

So, there you have it. Have I missed your favorite (or most hated) thing about Gossip Girl? Your favorite Chuck- or Blair-ism? Let me know in the comments!

Top 20 Memorable YA Library Scenes, Part I

Happy National Library Week! In celebration of the amazingness that is the library, I give you a list of my all-time most memorable YA scenes in libraries. Check back on Wednesday for Part II of the Top 20 List!

By REBECCA, April 9, 2012

Wake Lisa McMannWake (Dream Catcher #1), Lisa McMann

Every day during study hall in the library, Janie’s classmates fall asleep . . . and Janie falls into their dreams. But one person’s dreams fascinate and frighten Janie. What secrets is the mysterious Cabel hiding, and how far will he go to help Janie in her waking life as well as her dreaming one.

 

Billy ElliotBilly Elliot

Once Billy decides that he wants to learn ballet he does what anyone who wants to know something but doesn’t want to ask would do: he goes to the library to look it up. Well, the bookmobile. Faced with ageism in the library card system he then does what anyone who wants something they’re told they can’t have does: he sticks it in his pants and runs!

 

The Secret Circle Trilogy L.J. SmithThe Secret Circle Trilogy, L.J. Smith

I’ve discussed my adoration for this series at length here. One of my favorite scenes of Cassie on Diana awe takes place while Cassie is hiding in the school library. She “saw a brightness like sunlight. That hair. It was just as Cassie remembered, impossibly long, an impossible color. The girl was facing the circulation desk, smiling and talking to the librarian. Cassie could feel the radiance of her presence from across the room” (The Initiation, 108).

 

The Wind Blows Backward Mary Downing HahnThe Wind Blows Backward, Mary Downing Hahn

Shy Lauren loves her job at the public library and it’s the setting for some of the best scenes in the book. Lauren and Spencer used to be best friends, but now in high school Lauren is mousy and Spencer is seemingly perfect. As they reconnect over Dickinson, Whitman, and Frost while Spencer follows Lauren around reading to her as she shelves books, Lauren realizes that—I bet you didn’t see this one coming—Spencer’s life isn’t as perfect as it seems. If you haven’t read The Wind Blows Backward, consider this your wake-up call! It’s perfect ’90s YA romance.

Beauty and the BeastBeauty and the Beast

Obviously the best thing about Disney’s Beauty and the Beast is “Little Town,” the classic song of teen dissatisfaction that can, of course, only be solved by a book. Ok, so technically this is a book shop, but Belle uses it as a library, so I’m totally counting it. Besides, later the Beast basically seduces her with his library anyway.

Matilda Roald DahlMatilda, Roald Dahl

Matilda was basically my childhood hero, and the scene where she first walks into the library and learns that she can have her own card and finally have access to all those books may as well be accompanied by a major rock anthem like “We Are the Champions” or “Welcome to the Jungle” for how much it pumps me up.

 

Harry Potter J.K. RowlingHarry Potter, J.K. Rowling

There is many a delightful library scene in the Harry Potter series, of course. My favorite is the scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when Harry is searching desperately in the library for a book that will tell him how to breathe underwater and is awoken with his face in a book by Dobby who saves the day.

 

The Breakfast ClubThe Breakfast Club

The famously ad-libbed scene in which the Clubbers tell the stories of why they’re in detention takes place in the school library. The library is also home to the statue that gets plastered with lunch meat. And, of course, there is dancing and joyous book destruction.

 

 

The Truth About Forever Sarah Dessen

The Truth About Forever, Sarah Dessen

Macy has taken over her studious boyfriend’s summer job at the library information desk and her co-workers do not make cardigans feel welcoming. “By now, I’d been at the library for three days, and things were not improving. I knew that I was doing this for Jason, that it was important to him, but Bethany and Amanda seemed to be pooling their considerable IQs in a single-minded effort to completely demoralize me.”

 

Party GirlParty Girl

One of my favorite ’90s movies! Parker Posey is, well, a party girl, obviously. Desperate for work, she takes a job at the local library, and doesn’t exactly shine. One night, though, furious and ashamed at being thought of as irresponsible, she organizes entire library while high, and dances on the tables in the process. Oh, and you can’t forget the delightful ongoing Hannah Arendt joke—really, there are so few.

Come back on Wednesday for Part II!

10 Reasons You Should Be Watching Make It Or Break It

By REBECCA, March 26, 2012

Y’all, tonight is the premier of the third season of Make It Or Break It and I’m so excited! Oh, what’s that? You don’t watch Make It Or Break It / You’ve seen the commercials and thought it looked insipid? Well, here are 10 reasons why you should be watching (with NO spoilers for seasons 1 and 2). Note: the first two seasons are available on Netflix Instant and on Hulu, so catch up and come on over!

So you've seen Stick It—now what?

1. Friends, this show is set in the majestic, heart-stopping, hilarious world of gymnastics. Who doesn’t secretly wish they could do gymnastics? Picture it: you’re walking home from work past the park where those kids skateboard and you do an effortless flip on the curb or the back of the park bench. You want to avoid your downstairs neighbors, so you open your kitchen window, grab the branch outside, do some giant circles, and dismount into their makeshift herb garden. You vault over that obnoxious motorcycle that always straddles two parking spots. And the next time you’re an exasperated plus-one at a wedding and the DJ tries to make you catch the bouquet you back up to the corner of the parquet-square dance floor and do a tumbling pass right into the wedding cake! No? Just me? Ahem.

2. Make It Or Break It is a sports show. You know, just like Friday Night Lights! . . . Really, though: it has all the great personal drive, inspirational speeches, competition, pushing oneself to the limit. The girls are working toward the 2012 Olympics, so as the first and second season continue, the competition stakes get ever-higher.

3. It’s like a dance movie, only much, much longer! You get all the great elements of a dance movie in every episode: costumes and makeup; the awesome camera-work that accompanies people flying through the air quickly; the drama of someone practicing something and then seeing whether they can do it when it counts; injuries; and the staple of any dance movie: you have to dance it out (only in Make It Or Break It it’s gymnastics it out. Comme ça:

4. Musical training montages. Enough said. But, okay, I’ll say more. These aren’t your lame wind sprints and pushups, okay? These are badass flips, ponytails flying and sparkly leotards stretching. These are laps, but . . . in handstands and rope-climbing. And all of it is set to an upbeat power-pop soundtrack.

5. Drama! Holy sweaty leotards, Batman, is there drama. There’s Lauren Tanner, the sociopathic daddy’s girl who seems driven by the forces of evil to cause pain, discomfort, and shame wherever she goes. Lauren does, however, say some hilarious things: “How much of a Christian can she be? The woman wears Dolce & Gabanna!” There’s Kaylie Cruz, Lauren’s best friend, who isn’t quite as perfect as she seems, but is still the perkiest thing you’ve ever seen. Lauren and Kaylie have trained at The Rock (that’s the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Club) together since they were tiny, cartwheeling kids, and share everything . . . except a certain male gymnast. Then there’s new girl, Emily Kmetko, who taught herself gymnastics on playgrounds and at the YMCA—will she upset the triumvirate of Lauren, Kaylie, and . . .

6. Payson Keeler! She gets her own place on the list because she is so wonderful. She’s so mature and honest and determined and kind and no-nonsense and totally not obnoxious about the fact that she’s the top ranked gymnast at The Rock. Seriously, you wish you had a friend like Payson to keep you honest. And she will call you out.

7. This is kind of a cross between a regular high school show and a boarding school story. The girls don’t go to school because they train for 29 hours a day, so the gym is the place where they are always together. It’s a seething, roiling mess of hormones, desire, jealousy, and fear. So, basically like high school. But unlike a boarding school story, they live at home, so there is additional parent-drama. This is good because it allows for storylines that involve the parents, siblings, and coaches as well as the gymnasts.

Taking Twister to a whole new level

8. What I’ll call the Random Appeal Factor. You know how unpredictable taste is. My sister and I are, in different ways, about as far from the demographic this show targets as it’s possible to be. And we both love it. Call it what you will—suspense, pathos, bathos, pretty people, upbeat music, Colorado, smoothies, ABCFamily conservative moralizing—just call it!

9. Great and varied secondary characters. One of the nice things about Make It Or Break It is that it is a large cast. I think that always makes me more forgiving of a show because when one story line starts to feel claustrophobic there is a mechanism to switch really quickly to something else. Now, I won’t reveal who a lot of these secondary characters are because they appear in response to extremely dramatic and spoilery things. But I can say that one secondary character is played by Candace Cameron Bure—you know, D.J. Tanner from Full House—and she’s dating Steve Tanner (Lauren’s dad). Now, come on, you know they had to do that on purpose. See? Funny.

10. You have a week to kill before Game of Thrones is back. No, I’m just kidding. Reason number 10 that you should be watching Make It Or Break It is . . . Coach Sasha Beloff. Sasha is a former Olympic gymnast who is pulling an A-River-Runs-Through-It in the middle of nowhere. When Lauren’s dad goes to find him and coerce him into being the coach at The Rock, Sasha says he isn’t interested in gymnastics anymore, and we get the following humorous exchange. Note: In addition to being an awesome coach, a kickass human being, and also quite handsome, Sasha is occasionally very funny. This is the only time Lauren’s dad is funny, though, so don’t get used to it.

Sasha: “You think I left England to compete in Romania because I want money? Who do I look like, David Beckham?”

Lauren’s dad: “Yes, actually, you kind of do.”

And he kind of does.

Yes, as a child I briefly took gymnastics and yes, I harbored vague desires of being a gymnast despite going through puberty around age 11. But you don’t have to have been a tumbling tot or think that the Olympics are the only time sports channels are bearable because you might catch a glimpse of a sparkly leotard or a full twisting double layout to be delighted by Make It Or Break It.

So, which Make It Or Break It character are you? Tell us in the comments. Then watch the show to see if you should be insulted!

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